The Mall Is A Magical Place – Part Three (Texting)

Me and Cassey’s (aka Amy) texts:

-Let’s see a movie (I wrote this when we parted ways in the mall)

The reply came after supper that evening:

-I don’t think that would go over too well with my fiance
-That you went to see a show with some kid?
-lol good point
-Thanks for hanging out at the mall 🙂
-no problem, you were a great help with the kids
-I was?
-yes 🙂
-I might go see a movie anyway by myself
-Then I might bump into you
-I do need to get out of the house. All I do is babysit
-No friends?
-Not here, we just moved here
-you and your fiance?
-I’m living with my sister until he finally comes home so we can look at houses to buy
-he’s not around?
-no, he’s never around. works on the oil rigs.
-you going to be a rigger’s wife?
-I was hoping he’d get a different job
-I told him last year that I don’t like it when he’s never around, the rig job doesn’t work for me
-what did he say?
-that it makes lots of money
-so? I’d chose working at mcdonalds if that meant more days with you
-well you’re 15
-almost 16. If you’re a teacher you already make decent money don’t you?
-Not that great but we wouldn’t be broke if he took a lesser paying job
-Can he take vacation time? in the summer?
-he could have taken the summer off but didn’t want to lose the money
-all hail the great and magnificent god of money
-lol, I’m going to go see a movie
-which one?
-The Heat at 7:30
-That’s the same one I’m going to tonight!
-lol, you’re sweet. I guess I do need to make some friends
-Yep, I’m the perfect ‘friend’
-We’ll have to see
-I may be standing around trying to decide on snacks so you might run into me
-You should stand out of the way then
-and miss the opportunity to be run into by you? Not a chance


The Mall Is a Magical Place – Part Two

I could tell you about Amy’s bratty little niece and nephew and how annoying they are but I don’t fully remember. All I remember is Amy dressed in a summer dress, her red hair flowing around her shoulders and her gorgeous smile. When she gave me that smile, as I approached her at the mall, I knew she didn’t mind the black hair and new look.

“I honestly don’t remember seeing you at the garage sale.” She said in her soft, sing-song voice. I didn’t say ‘just imagine me 40 pounds heavier with boring brown hair and ugly clothes’, instead I said “I dyed my hair.”

Amy’s real name is Cassey. She’s amazing. She’s soft spoken and always nice to the brat kids (they don’t deserve her), she’s got a friendly manner and positive outlook on everything. She thinks I’m funny and nothing irritates her. We got icecream for the kids and ourselves but I couldn’t eat much of it, because I was nervous and because every time Amy (Cassey) took a lick of her icecream my stomach tightened up and I had to look away, it was much too wonderful to watch.

The best part was when we were parting ways.
The brats had become overly annoying and Amy said they needed a nap. She was heading for her car and I had taken the bus so I was heading in the other direction, too embarrassed to ask for a ride. Then she said,

“I don’t have to watch the kids in the evening.”

I froze. I couldn’t even think straight, was she asking me to ask her on a date? My tongue was tied, like they say “tongue-tied”, that’s exactly what it felt like, tied up in a knot.
She smiled then and walked away.

When I finally recovered from my trance I send her a text:

-Let’s see a movie 🙂

My Amy is a teacher…

For those of you who don’t know who Amy is I will give you a brief recap. I went to a garage sale earlier this summer and came across the most beautiful woman in the world, with the most beautiful… um.. tank top I’ve ever seen. I decided to call her Amy because she looks like the actress Amy Adams who played Lois Lane in the recent Superman Movie ‘Man of Steele’.

Anyway I couldn’t stop thinking about her so I wrote her a secret admirer letter, explaining how I’d seen her at the garage sale and I thought she was beautiful and that I was not yet 18 (plus I left my cell number). After leaving it in her mailbox I felt really dumb and didn’t expect to get a text or a call. And I didn’t get either, for like a month. Then, standing in Jane’s bedroom, (I was there to pick up my mom’s dog Xena) I got this text:

-Hi. I got your letter in my mailbox. It was sweet.

I had no choice but to explain the situation to Jane of course, because I was standing in her bedroom dumbfounded and in shock. She’s a really good listener, and she doesn’t even mind that I call her Jane (although I haven’t told her the real reason I nicknamed her Jane, ‘Plane Jane’). It took me like an hour to finally send a text reply to Amy. Jane and I went through a million possible replies but I was too nervous to be satisfied with any of them. Nothing seemed quite right. Then finally the winning reply was:

-wanna go for coffee?
-I’ve got the kids
-you have to watch your kids all day?
-no, my sister’s kids. I don’t have any of my own.
I’m a teacher, don’t work in summer saves money if I watch them.

It took a few hours for me to stop feeling shaky after that AWESOME text conversation.
Jane didn’t have to babysit her little sister that day because her mom was home so we went to the mall together to buy me some clothes that actually fit me (I un-grew all of my clothes – lost weight this summer). Did I mention my mom gave me money for all the house cleaning I’ve been doing lately? It was enough to buy back a new x-box and I’m sure she expected I would do just that, but I wasn’t fully decided.

Now I’m glad I didn’t spend the money because Jane and I picked out some really great looking clothes for me. All clothes look great when you’re skinny. Ya, you heard me, I totally lost weight, very much so. And I couldn’t eat almost all day yesterday, I was running on some ‘Amy’s Text Replies’ high so I wasn’t even hungry. I couldn’t believe she actually texted me! As a young guy you can’t imagine what a boost that is to my ego. She’s so hot! Anyway this post is getting long but I’ll keep you all updated…

An Unexpected Text Reply

I didn’t get much sleep last night. I went to bed after 2am (after Jane’s party) and my mom was up at 6am, freaking out about Xena being gone.

So needless to say I had to go to Jane’s house again today to pick up Xena. I waited until it seemed like a decent hour, 9:30 am, then headed over to her house.
The front door was open, with just the screen door closed and I could smell something delicious baking inside. Jane’s mother was home. She said she was making chocolate banana pancakes. I’d never heard of chocolate banana pancakes but what a brilliant idea! My tummy was rumbling. But the text messages wouldn’t stop beeping on my phone, my mom asking if Xena was safe for the millionth time, so I had to get an answer for her immediately. Jane’s mom said I could go downstairs and see if Jane was awake.

Jane’s bedroom door was slightly open when I got there. Xena was sleeping with her, tucked right under Jane’s chin like a stuffed animal. I watched them for a moment, admiring how pretty Jane looked when asleep, and how even more rodent-like Xena looked while sleeping.

Xena noticed me first and jumped out of Jane’s arms, waking her.
“Oh hi.” She said, blinking at me.
I expected her to panic and yell for me to get out. Girls don’t like to be looked at first thing in the morning. But she only smiled and sat up slowly. She was wearing a tank top and pajama bottoms. I didn’t feel the same way, seeing her in a tank top, as I did seeing Amy in one, but it still made me smile, seeing her dishevelled hair and glazed over eyes. It made me want to cuddle up with her and go back to sleep, and not just because I was so tired, but because she looked so cuddle-able.
My cell phone beeped again.

“My mom’s been texting me like crazy.” I said, looking at my phone. “She’s been worried about Xena.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t have your number to call you. I let her out to pee and we fed her some …. Caleb? Are you okay?” Jane was talking to me but I was unable to speak. I was looking at my texts, most of which were from my mom, but one of them…. was from Amy….

I don’t ever want to grow up

My mom is asleep when I get home. She called me around midnight on my cell phone while I was at the party at Jane’s house and I convinced her that I was safe, just down the street, and there was nothing to worry about, so she let me stay. I’m not sure what time it is now but I think its almost 2 am. I can’t believe those kids stayed up so late, especially the toddler.

My house is like a tomb as I walk through the living room area where my mom is asleep on the couch. I guess she was trying to wait up for me. Just earlier this evening I was envious of how she was out for a late night movie with her friends and I had no friends. Now I feel bad for her. I’m all she’s got really, I’m the one she comes home to and tells about her day. I’m actually proud of her for not hooking up with another guy as soon as dad left. She’s been doing the best she can keeping in touch with friends, its not easy at her age, parents are always too busy for fun.

I don’t think I ever want to grow up. I just want to play and not worry about working a job I hate, paying bills I can’t afford and facing a divorce of my own. I have a 50% chance of getting a divorce if I get married. The thought is depressing. The house feels too lonely, far too quiet. Then I realize why. I forgot Xena in Jane’s bedroom!

Last Night – Part Five (All Fun Things Must Come to an End)

The lights go out in the basement and it is ‘night time’ for the village. There is a round of giggles in the dark as the kids crouch in their make-shift homes. Jane has provided the lanky boy with a flashlight (she’s very practical) but even with that in hand he manages to trip on everything and take forever getting to his victim. The kids however love the suspense and enjoy the kidnapping game.

When he chooses one of the girls she screams bloody murder. I’m surprised none of the mothers come flying down the stairs to see what’s going on, but the folk music is still playing loudly upstairs and the parents’ voices have gotten even more rowdy. I think some vodka may be involved.

With the kidnapping accomplished the lights return and my dart competition begins. Everyone takes a turn except for me and Jane (King and Queen of this Kingdom). I even heroically slay the dragon with a hockey stick sword to free the kidnapped child from the evil Ring Bearer’s dungeon, so she can also attend the dart contest. They all take turns throwing and the closest dart to the middle is one of the boys (who looks exactly like his younger brother and I confuse them). We’ve all forgotten about the toddler but Jane says she must get a try too.

“Throw it that way Emma.” Jane says, helping her hold the plastic dart. Emma gives a hefty throw, reaching far behind her before letting the dart fly forward. It lands smack dab in the bull’s eye.

The room erupts with loud cheering. Emma squeals and jumps up and down.
“I did id! I DID ID! I DID ID!” She is so happy it brings tears to my eyes. I stop the cheering when I realize that its so late at night I’m getting emotional from being too tired.

“There is to be a celebration in the land, held in honour of Emma, to present her with her reward for winning the dart competition.” I decree. “I have decided to award her the ring of power, which will be, from here on, no longer evil but good.”

Everyone cheers and I appoint dancers, music makers and jugglers for the event. Soon we’re in full festival mode and just when it isn’t possible to have more fun than we’re having, two of the mom’s come down stairs to announce that its time to go home. The party is over.

Last Night – Part Four (Let’s Play!)

I slip off my LOTR ring and hand it to lanky kid.

“I’m the king and you’re the villagers. You all have a job…” I look around the basement “and you all need homes. Before we start I want everyone to push all the toys on the floor into the middle of the room.”

They all rush to do my bidding. Jane helps them and gives commands when necessary.
“Jane will be the Queen.” I announce.
“Who’s Jane?” Maegan asks.
“I mean Leena. Leena will be the Queen.”
Jane (aka Leena) stops pushing a doll house to the center of the room and looks at me. We lock eyes for a moment.
“But I want to be the Queen.” Maegan whines, breaking the spell.
“You’re going to be the merchant.” I tell her. She looks at me like she’s trying to decide if that sounds cooler than being a Queen or not.
“Everyone has to build up their village homes around the edges of the room.” I say to the others. “But you must buy stuff from Maegan, or trade, you can’t just take it from the pile in the middle of the room. She’s the village merchant.”
Maegan’s eyes light up.

Everyone has questions about how to play ‘Villager’ but I hold up my hand to silence them.
“I’ve decreed that you must all build homes to sleep in. If you have further questions for the King you are required to bring a dessert offering before my throne…” I look around the basement. “Queen Leena, you will now be known as Queen Jane, can you get me a throne?”
Jane nods and disapears into her room, returning with a chair and a blanket to cover it. She sets up the throne for me and I have a seat.

In no time many tasty desserts from upstairs are brought before me, and the questions asked are as follows, “Am I allowed to have a pretend pet dragon that’s invisible?” “Can I be the village idiot?” and “Will there be a battle against the trolls?”

Jane stands loyally by my side, stopping petty fights as they arrise, mostly bickering in the ‘market place’. I spot a magnetic dart board in the pile of toys that no one has snatched up yet.
“Queen Jane.” I say to her. “Please have someone bring that dart board to the palace and write up invitations to all the homes in my Kingdom. Every villager is invited to attend the royal dart throwing competition tomorrow morning.”

Immediately everyone starts talking about the dart throwing competition, even though they haven’t recieved their invitations yet. I shake my head at their poor roleplaying skills. Jane nods and goes to her room for paper and markers.

Lanky kid is looking bored as the others build their homes. He has been pretending he is invisible but is now unmotivated.
“Ring bearer!” I summon him. “Come here.”
When he gets closer I lower my voice to a whisper.
“Tonight, when the lights go out and all the villagers are asleep for the night I want you to kidnap one of them and trap them in your dungeon.”
He looks excited, but unsure.
“But I don’t have a dungeon.” He whispers back.
“Then make one!” I dismiss him and he runs off.