Mondays Confessions of a Stay-At-Home-Mom

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11:10 AM

Had to start a new journal as other one has dropped off the face of the Earth, already.

Spent all morning posting yesterday’s journal entries to blog, then looking through facebook updates. Must make lunch and plan a playdate for child so I can go to hair appointment.

11:40 AM

My life consists entirely of cleaning, laundry, dishes and preparing food.

Saw facebook update of favourite Most Sought After friend (let’s call him MSA Friend), he is going somehwere fun for New Year’s Eve… someplace I’ve never heard of but must be fun if he is going).

Phone ringing….

Playdate called back! All set. Can visit hairdresser (more accurately student of Hair School) in peace. Must not let student style my hair seeing as tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and, although I have no party plans, the hopeless Romantic in me still imagines a small chance that I will be whisked away (by MSA Friend) on some fun New Year’s Eve Pary Adventure at the last minute, while child is left in the capable hands of someone I trust and who does not want to do anything on New Year’s Eve, someone who can put child to bed properly, all the while Husband will be making lots of money at the Family Festival with no help needed from me, as I will be absent anyway due to whisking away incident.

Yes. Right. And so you see the need to have my hair done properly tomorrow (I can’t wash it for 48 hours after dying it today).

Right, where was I? Yes, my life consists entirely of cleaning, laundry, dishes and preparing meals… and I suppose I can add ‘unrealistic daydreaming’ and ‘incessant diary logging’ to the list now.

11:50 AM

Haven’t finished dishes, haven’t fed child or myself, still in PJ’s and must visit bank and have child dropped off at playdate appartment building by 12:30PM!

12:06 PM

“I am the greatest mom that ever lived. I was born to give and give and give.”

Just finished making lunch. Now must get my ‘winged’ child to eat it. Running late.

12:23 PM

Child won’t eat!

Finished off my spaghetti and cheese, currently dipping chocolate covered granola bar into large jar of peanut butter while child is crying for some unfathomable reason (probably because doesn’t want to eat) all the while the hair appointment is fast approaching. I am not the greatest mom that ever lived.

1:58 PM

At hair appointment. Was 10 minutes late. Got a call on cell while driving and answered phone stating angrily “I’m driving!” and “I’m trying to get there as fast as I can!” HairSchool secretary was thrown off by my complete direguard of acceptable customer social etiquette. Currently sitting in chair waiting for black hair dye to eat through my scalp.

Have had no contact with MSA Friend in days… let’s see, since Dec. 26 11:04 AM according to my phone. It must be inaccurate because it seems like at least a week. Scalp burning. When someone doesn’t reply to your facebook message should you just keep waiting? for how long? should you write again after a few days?

5:00 PM

Call from Husband. He won’t be home after work. Something about saving the children, or the safety of children being top priority. Whatever it is he won’t be home. Time to make supper, put child to watch television then update my blog so I’m not behind and the blogging workload doesn’t become overwhelming like housework load on a Monday (after a no-cleaning Sunday).

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Sunday’s Journal Entries Continued…

9:00 AM (Sunday)

Not sure what to eat for breakfast. Husband forgot to pick up Cereal for me on his late-night grocery run, so now options are: toast (which is like eating air) or waffles (which I’ve had everyday for weeks and are unhealthy) with Nutella (which I’ve been devouring by the jar), or eggs and bacon (bad for cholesterol)

Note to self: must stop eating Nutella with breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I haven’t been getting any exercise (too snowy and cold to walk dog *cough-excuses-cough*), and I’ve been eating a lot of chocolates, given (cruely) as Christmas gifts by so-called ‘friends’, and cookies too. I’m supposed to be very careful with my cholesterol (even though I’m a young 30-something)… which makes me think of my grandma (the cholesterol, not my age). I should call her or visit her. Maybe as a New Year’s thing.

Want to go out New Year’s Eve, but there’s nowhere to go, no events that would require dressing up. Husband will be setting up merchandising tent at a New Years family festival event which I do not feel like helping out with, although I probably should if I were a model wife, and will have to keep track of daughter at the same time at said event. A far cry from the elagant wine and cheese non-existant New Year’s Eve cocktail party I’d rather be attending.

9:09 AM

So hungry. Scared if I eat even one spoonful of Nutella today I’ll die by night fall. Waffles also have saturated fat, so do eggs. Toast will make me more hungry than before I ate said toast (inadvertently kicking hunger into full swing for the day), resulting in me stuffing an oreo with Nutella, Peanut butter and icing, then devouring four of these creations, because there is no package label warning me how much saturated fat this combination has.
Food options: 0

9:11 AM

Daughter is singing to herself in bed. Should go say hi. Then make her something fat laden for breakfast (she’s as this as a rail, with shoulder bones sticking out so far you’d think she was growing wings). Eggs and bacon and heavily buttered toast for her this morning!

9:26 AM

Had chat with daughter about how her teacher obviously is unqualified to teach language arts. Tried to explain proper novel writing. Still haven’t eaten. Daughter is on computer now typing away on her novel (she is 8 years old) while Husband is still tapping away on his ipad on couch. They will loiter around like this until I make them breakfast.

9:37 AM

Had an M&M chocolate almond. Making bacon now while reading Bridget Jones and putting away yesterday’s Boxing Week Sale shopping spree items, thrown onto kitchen table by Husband yesterday as his way of putting things away. (is putting stuff away also akin to ‘picking up sticks’ on a Sabbath? Must not think of it)

Let dog out and realized it is warmer outside, meaning I can walk dog today (work or leisure?) also meaning I can eat bacon with breakfast! (turkey bacon of course). And maybe even an egg! Oh and French Fries too!

Hopefully my exercise to what-I-can-eat ratio isn’t too far off in my calculations.

10:20 AM

Make breakfast for three, ate: 1 egg, 2 toast, 3 bacon, handful of fries, orange juice and 2 M&M chocolate Almonds.

Husband has transitioned from ipad tapping to Man-Movie watching on couch while eating the breakfast I made him.

I must shower today.

Last Night – Part Five (All Fun Things Must Come to an End)

The lights go out in the basement and it is ‘night time’ for the village. There is a round of giggles in the dark as the kids crouch in their make-shift homes. Jane has provided the lanky boy with a flashlight (she’s very practical) but even with that in hand he manages to trip on everything and take forever getting to his victim. The kids however love the suspense and enjoy the kidnapping game.

When he chooses one of the girls she screams bloody murder. I’m surprised none of the mothers come flying down the stairs to see what’s going on, but the folk music is still playing loudly upstairs and the parents’ voices have gotten even more rowdy. I think some vodka may be involved.

With the kidnapping accomplished the lights return and my dart competition begins. Everyone takes a turn except for me and Jane (King and Queen of this Kingdom). I even heroically slay the dragon with a hockey stick sword to free the kidnapped child from the evil Ring Bearer’s dungeon, so she can also attend the dart contest. They all take turns throwing and the closest dart to the middle is one of the boys (who looks exactly like his younger brother and I confuse them). We’ve all forgotten about the toddler but Jane says she must get a try too.

“Throw it that way Emma.” Jane says, helping her hold the plastic dart. Emma gives a hefty throw, reaching far behind her before letting the dart fly forward. It lands smack dab in the bull’s eye.

The room erupts with loud cheering. Emma squeals and jumps up and down.
“I did id! I DID ID! I DID ID!” She is so happy it brings tears to my eyes. I stop the cheering when I realize that its so late at night I’m getting emotional from being too tired.

“There is to be a celebration in the land, held in honour of Emma, to present her with her reward for winning the dart competition.” I decree. “I have decided to award her the ring of power, which will be, from here on, no longer evil but good.”

Everyone cheers and I appoint dancers, music makers and jugglers for the event. Soon we’re in full festival mode and just when it isn’t possible to have more fun than we’re having, two of the mom’s come down stairs to announce that its time to go home. The party is over.