New Year’s Eve and Post Christmas Clutter Blues

clutterpic

11:23 AM

Still in PJ’s and feeling like a slob. So hard to do anything during the holidays when child has no school. But to be fair I could have worked on my novel or something during the time I spent on the computer this morning blogging then photoshopping myself into (and partially behind in the most believable manner) a photo alongside my favourite actor / comedian Mark Little.

Anyway must go do laundry.

11:29 AM

The clutter of Christmas is depressing, especially with no one around to help. It seems to emphasize the clutter in my brain and my scattered, unorganized hopes and dreams, unfocussed goals, unscheduled daily living. Have decided it best not to officially start the New Year until Daughter is back at school. If I try to start on my goals now I will be unsuccessful and it will depress me further.

11:40 PM

Didn’t go party for New Year’s. Didn’t even get away from the Family Festival long enough to do anything else but work the entire evening there and come home with a big headache. There was a mass of people, lots of stress, huge line-ups, unhappy mothers. Stayed for the whole event then helped pack up after. Daughter was left neglected on a chair the whole four hours, then was brought home and had some sort of panic attack, she couldn’t breathe. She’s still awake actually and says that if she lays down she can’t breathe. Husband is with her now. He said thanks for the help today.

He has no idea how important New Year’s is to me. Last year I swore that no matter WHAT I would go out and enjoy myself this year, have a fun filled evening. But I didn’t and it doesn’t matter if I go out tomorrow or any other day. It’s tonight that is important to me, tonight that is special and magical. It’s so depressing. Husband’s business always, always wrecks special occassions, like Canada Day. He’s always busy, always busy, always busy on the days that are important to me.

12:05

Happy New Year’s everyone.
I’m off to bed

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