Sunday’s Journal Entries Part 3

10:30 AM

Written far too much in this diary log and it’s not even noon yet! Must not make this diary writing a new obsession like I do with most anything I start.

12:40 PM

Playing acrobats with daughter (using Barbies not ourselves)

Haven’t walked dog yet or showered. All I want to do is listen to boy band music and lay in bed, looking at the boyband posters on daughter’s wall and imagining running into these fine young British men at a sandwich shop, then we’d instantly become best of friends. Five fun, young and energetic guy friends to joke with all day and just do silly things like running on a beach in slow motion, fashionable guys who dress brilliant (aren’t afraid to wear white pants or red pants) and are famously cute. Yes, right, I’m supposed to be playing Barbies.

2:15 PM

Walked the dog!
Now my sinuses hurt. I forgot that in the middle of the night my sinuses and chest hurt and I was having trouble breathing. Suppose if I’d remembered that I wouldn’t have walked the dog so far. But worked off the egg and bacon from breakfast (I imagine), although I just ate 3 more M&M chocolate almonds to give me enough energy to take a shower.

Husband bringing home playdate for child this afternoon! After shower will go to a coffee shop 😀 (to avoid playdate)

3:26

At coffee shop 😀
Ordered healthy sandwich and soup. All showered now and prepared for any emergency swimming sessions, should any arrise (shaved my legs). Was thinking to put my diary onto my blog. Instantly got overwhelmed with how much work it’s going to be. But now that I thought it I must do it!

Would it be dangerous to blog all my real life and real thoughts? Will someone create an elaborate flow chart (covering an entire wall in their hotel room in which they live) of my life, where I am and when and with whom? What type of body wash I use, etc? Then plan a complicated stalking plot, of computer-science caliber, that will inspire a thriller movie in the future after my tormented death?

Why can’t I just simply enjoy this Bridget Jones novel I’m reading and NOT want to create something similar myself? (this is my first time reading a Bridget Jones novel)

Why are they still playing Christmas music in this coffee shop?

4:47 PM

Migrated from one coffee shop to another, partly because of Christmas music thing and partly because I didn’t want to overstay my welcome at first coffee shop. Am now at Starbucks where reading-loitering is more acceptable. Got a mocha and a cake-pop. Have no idea what the saturated fat content is of said items and therefore can consume them without fear (or with less fear) of a heart attack. At least I managed to avoid the Nutella jar today 😀

7:24 PM

Just got back from Mass (church). Was thinking, the entire time, about how I wish I had somwhere fancy to go and someone to go with for New Year’s Eve. Realized I wasn’t paying attention or praying and am a selfish, unspiritual heathen. Didn’t take communion (bread), had to cross arms in an act of rejection due to past heathenism which is still uncleansed by a confession session. Priest patted me on the shoulder, he knows…. Wish we could skip the whole confessional thing and I could just get a nod of “oh-u-did-that-again-ok-u-r-forgiven” as I’m coming up the line, then we can get on with it.

New Resolutions (for now): write less in diary log, post daily so as not to be thousands of words behind and spend all morning posting. Stop eating Nutella for a week at least.

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Sunday’s Journal Entries Continued…

9:00 AM (Sunday)

Not sure what to eat for breakfast. Husband forgot to pick up Cereal for me on his late-night grocery run, so now options are: toast (which is like eating air) or waffles (which I’ve had everyday for weeks and are unhealthy) with Nutella (which I’ve been devouring by the jar), or eggs and bacon (bad for cholesterol)

Note to self: must stop eating Nutella with breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I haven’t been getting any exercise (too snowy and cold to walk dog *cough-excuses-cough*), and I’ve been eating a lot of chocolates, given (cruely) as Christmas gifts by so-called ‘friends’, and cookies too. I’m supposed to be very careful with my cholesterol (even though I’m a young 30-something)… which makes me think of my grandma (the cholesterol, not my age). I should call her or visit her. Maybe as a New Year’s thing.

Want to go out New Year’s Eve, but there’s nowhere to go, no events that would require dressing up. Husband will be setting up merchandising tent at a New Years family festival event which I do not feel like helping out with, although I probably should if I were a model wife, and will have to keep track of daughter at the same time at said event. A far cry from the elagant wine and cheese non-existant New Year’s Eve cocktail party I’d rather be attending.

9:09 AM

So hungry. Scared if I eat even one spoonful of Nutella today I’ll die by night fall. Waffles also have saturated fat, so do eggs. Toast will make me more hungry than before I ate said toast (inadvertently kicking hunger into full swing for the day), resulting in me stuffing an oreo with Nutella, Peanut butter and icing, then devouring four of these creations, because there is no package label warning me how much saturated fat this combination has.
Food options: 0

9:11 AM

Daughter is singing to herself in bed. Should go say hi. Then make her something fat laden for breakfast (she’s as this as a rail, with shoulder bones sticking out so far you’d think she was growing wings). Eggs and bacon and heavily buttered toast for her this morning!

9:26 AM

Had chat with daughter about how her teacher obviously is unqualified to teach language arts. Tried to explain proper novel writing. Still haven’t eaten. Daughter is on computer now typing away on her novel (she is 8 years old) while Husband is still tapping away on his ipad on couch. They will loiter around like this until I make them breakfast.

9:37 AM

Had an M&M chocolate almond. Making bacon now while reading Bridget Jones and putting away yesterday’s Boxing Week Sale shopping spree items, thrown onto kitchen table by Husband yesterday as his way of putting things away. (is putting stuff away also akin to ‘picking up sticks’ on a Sabbath? Must not think of it)

Let dog out and realized it is warmer outside, meaning I can walk dog today (work or leisure?) also meaning I can eat bacon with breakfast! (turkey bacon of course). And maybe even an egg! Oh and French Fries too!

Hopefully my exercise to what-I-can-eat ratio isn’t too far off in my calculations.

10:20 AM

Make breakfast for three, ate: 1 egg, 2 toast, 3 bacon, handful of fries, orange juice and 2 M&M chocolate Almonds.

Husband has transitioned from ipad tapping to Man-Movie watching on couch while eating the breakfast I made him.

I must shower today.

I’M BACK!

Sunday (yesterday) journal enteries: (this is me)

8:34 AM

Decided to start journaling for the New Year, Bridget Jones style! To help me keep on track with New Year’s Resolutions.

8:40

Must figure out New Years’ Resolutions before the New Year. Must de-clutter house of Christmas clutter and store it all neatly and orderly in plastic bins in the basement, then de-clutter basement.

Had a dream about my grandma. She was happy and smiling. Feeling guilty that I never visit her.

Plans for today:

-Play with daughter
-Not do dishes or laundry or de-clutter house because it’s Sunday (no work day)
-Find out if there is confession today (probably not) so I won’t have to cross my arms and refuse the bread again when I go up for Communion, resulting in shame and embarrassment and onlookers wondering what grave sin I’ve committed (there aren’t that many, murder being one of them).
-Go to Mass (maybe)
-Read more of Bridget Jones latest book that I got for Christmas (which I picked out myself and wrapped myself but used Husband’s money and labeled it from Husband) because it’s SO funny, although I vaguely remember a passage in the Old Testament saying something like ‘they do what they regularily do on any other day (on Sunday) and don’t keep it Holy.” Resulting in God being upset. I also vaguely remember someone being put to death for ‘picking up sticks’ on a Sabbath day O.o
-I probably shouldn’t be writing seeing as that is something I would do on any regular day. Plus if I become a writer then ‘writing’ would be work (akin to picking up sticks)!
-Just realizing now that I have a lot of religious stuff running through my head, maybe because it’s Sunday.
-Can’t write anymore because Husband is on couch beside me playing some stupid war game on his ipad mini which involves endless tapping on the screen and not a lick of real video game hand/eye co-ordination skill (this generation has become even too lazy for video gaming skill), and the tapping is too distracting for me to write.

(end of first installment of yesterday’s diary enteries, will catch up to today’s date this morning at some point after a few posts…)

The Best Feeling Ever

The best feeling ever? When Amy, I mean Cassie, laughs out loud at something I’ve said. It tickles my insides. Going with her to a movie is better than Disney Land or anything imaginable. Not only does it certify me as the coolest guy on the planet but she is HAPPY when we hang out. She laughs and she’s so easy going, she’s thin and light and so was the skirt she was wearing, and she’s shorter than me, THUMBS UP!

So if you disregard the age difference (I haven’t asked her what her age is because I’m smart enough to know it’s not socially acceptable to ask women over the age of twenty-something what their age is, but I do know she’s a teacher, and if you factor in a university degree I’d say she’s 26? 28?), so what was I saying? Yes, if you disregard the age difference, which in my opinion shouldn’t matter, then I’d say we’re perfect for one another. She says I’m so easy to get along with.

I could spend all day writing about Cassie’s great qualities but I will update you on our movie night. I don’t exactly remember what the movie was about, because all my brain could register was that I was in a dark theater beside the most beautiful woman in the world. Like I said, whenever she laughed it tickled my insides and I wanted to just grab her and kiss her, which was pretty much all I thought about throughout the entire movie.

After the show I was too embarrassed to ask her to drive me anywhere (so I took the bus home), and I didn’t offer to do anything afterwards like go for coffee, but instead I said I’d left my little dog at home and needed to let her out to go pee, so I had to go home.

I should have asked her to go for a walk. What do grown-ups do after a date? I mean, you know, in the early stages of a relationship? Like casual things. In romantic movies they always end up going for a walk at night and finding a lonely park where the guy pushes the girl on the swing. But there are no parks close by to down town.

Oh well, I was way too riled up to stay around Amy for longer than the two hour movie anyway. I doubt I could have been able to keep up any sort of decent conversation, when all I could focus on was her rosy lips and perfect hips.

Oh Amy…

The Mall Is A Magical Place – Part Three (Texting)

Me and Cassey’s (aka Amy) texts:

-Let’s see a movie (I wrote this when we parted ways in the mall)

The reply came after supper that evening:

-I don’t think that would go over too well with my fiance
-That you went to see a show with some kid?
-lol good point
-Thanks for hanging out at the mall 🙂
-no problem, you were a great help with the kids
-I was?
-yes 🙂
-I might go see a movie anyway by myself
-Then I might bump into you
-?
-I do need to get out of the house. All I do is babysit
-No friends?
-Not here, we just moved here
-you and your fiance?
-I’m living with my sister until he finally comes home so we can look at houses to buy
-he’s not around?
-no, he’s never around. works on the oil rigs.
-you going to be a rigger’s wife?
-I was hoping he’d get a different job
-hoping?
-I told him last year that I don’t like it when he’s never around, the rig job doesn’t work for me
-what did he say?
-that it makes lots of money
-so? I’d chose working at mcdonalds if that meant more days with you
-well you’re 15
-almost 16. If you’re a teacher you already make decent money don’t you?
-Not that great but we wouldn’t be broke if he took a lesser paying job
-Can he take vacation time? in the summer?
-he could have taken the summer off but didn’t want to lose the money
-all hail the great and magnificent god of money
-lol, I’m going to go see a movie
-which one?
-The Heat at 7:30
-That’s the same one I’m going to tonight!
-lol, you’re sweet. I guess I do need to make some friends
-Yep, I’m the perfect ‘friend’
-We’ll have to see
-I may be standing around trying to decide on snacks so you might run into me
-You should stand out of the way then
-and miss the opportunity to be run into by you? Not a chance
-lol

The Mall Is a Magical Place – Part Two

I could tell you about Amy’s bratty little niece and nephew and how annoying they are but I don’t fully remember. All I remember is Amy dressed in a summer dress, her red hair flowing around her shoulders and her gorgeous smile. When she gave me that smile, as I approached her at the mall, I knew she didn’t mind the black hair and new look.

“I honestly don’t remember seeing you at the garage sale.” She said in her soft, sing-song voice. I didn’t say ‘just imagine me 40 pounds heavier with boring brown hair and ugly clothes’, instead I said “I dyed my hair.”

Amy’s real name is Cassey. She’s amazing. She’s soft spoken and always nice to the brat kids (they don’t deserve her), she’s got a friendly manner and positive outlook on everything. She thinks I’m funny and nothing irritates her. We got icecream for the kids and ourselves but I couldn’t eat much of it, because I was nervous and because every time Amy (Cassey) took a lick of her icecream my stomach tightened up and I had to look away, it was much too wonderful to watch.

The best part was when we were parting ways.
The brats had become overly annoying and Amy said they needed a nap. She was heading for her car and I had taken the bus so I was heading in the other direction, too embarrassed to ask for a ride. Then she said,

“I don’t have to watch the kids in the evening.”

I froze. I couldn’t even think straight, was she asking me to ask her on a date? My tongue was tied, like they say “tongue-tied”, that’s exactly what it felt like, tied up in a knot.
She smiled then and walked away.

When I finally recovered from my trance I send her a text:

-Let’s see a movie 🙂

The Mall Is a Magical Place

Today, as I was trying to style my hair, I got this text from my mom:

Can you take the bus down to the mall and pick up shampoo and conditioner? I work late.

I had planned to walk Xena that day but then decided I could invite Jane to the mall and we’d make a date of it. Well, not a real date because I have no idea if Jane likes me in that way or if I like her in that way.

I gave up on trying to style my hair and at the bus stop Jane commented on how long it is. I hadn’t cut it for four months and my bangs are now down to below my nose. That’s when I had the brilliant idea to go to a hair salon in the mall and get an “emo” hairstyle.
Long story short I got a sweet emo hair cut, dyed my hair raven black, got the works. They even styled it for me in just the right way. Jane was quite shocked when I met up with her afterwards, she said I look very different. I’m sure I do. First of all I lost a LOT of weight this summer and actually bought nice clothes for once and I dyed my hair black. It wasn’t until after all this that I realized I have no idea if Amy likes black hair.

I was getting a lot of looks and a lot of smiles from the girls at the mall, like the kind of smiles you want to get if you’re a guy, it was awesome. I’ve NEVER gotten smiles like that before, ever. The girls didn’t even seem to care that Jane was walking with me, I still got the smiles.

Once again I was finding it difficult to eat so I gave Jane my fries and ended up just drinking a bottle of water. I was nervous because I wanted to text Amy again but didn’t know what to say. Finally after much deliberation I texted her this:

-Want to come to the mall and hang out?
-got the kids
-bring kids?
-ok, kiddie ride coin machines?
-see u there 🙂