I don’t ever want to grow up

My mom is asleep when I get home. She called me around midnight on my cell phone while I was at the party at Jane’s house and I convinced her that I was safe, just down the street, and there was nothing to worry about, so she let me stay. I’m not sure what time it is now but I think its almost 2 am. I can’t believe those kids stayed up so late, especially the toddler.

My house is like a tomb as I walk through the living room area where my mom is asleep on the couch. I guess she was trying to wait up for me. Just earlier this evening I was envious of how she was out for a late night movie with her friends and I had no friends. Now I feel bad for her. I’m all she’s got really, I’m the one she comes home to and tells about her day. I’m actually proud of her for not hooking up with another guy as soon as dad left. She’s been doing the best she can keeping in touch with friends, its not easy at her age, parents are always too busy for fun.

I don’t think I ever want to grow up. I just want to play and not worry about working a job I hate, paying bills I can’t afford and facing a divorce of my own. I have a 50% chance of getting a divorce if I get married. The thought is depressing. The house feels too lonely, far too quiet. Then I realize why. I forgot Xena in Jane’s bedroom!

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