Hello, its me,
Have you ever been too scared to let yourself fall sleep? This doesn’t happen to me often but it did last night. I stayed up late reading a book till I finished it and then I was too scared to let myself fall asleep, because the thought of losing my consciousness scared me. I mean I would be shut off from reality, not conscious for hours! Its like dieing for a bit, your real self and thoughts ceasing to exist for those hours. It was just too scary and I didn’t want to let myself go. So everytime I started to drift off I’d shake myself awake, heart pounding, I wasn’t going to let sleep take me away, steal me from reality.
Sleep did however rob me of my consciousness and it also stole some of my awareness too because when I woke I thought it was a weekend and I didn’t have to hurry up and get out of bed. I lay in my bed confused for like 10 minutes, just trying to figure out what exactly I was supposed to be doing.
I wish we never had to sleep, but just rest and think for the night, not completely lose consciousness. I know its just a bit of anxiety, but its still creepy.