I’m so tired today
I could sleep forever
or at least for a month
like a vampire
I took the early bus today, and had to wait ouside in the cold for like half an hour before the school officially opened. I don’t know why I thought the school is always open. Doesn’t the janitor come in extra early or something? Apparently not.
Anyway, I was dressed up warm in layers and it was above freezing so I was fine. I always go prepared for any weather when I leave home. And my backpack has everything:
-snacks (if available)
-change of socks
-mascara (just dried out)
-scarf, toque, mitts
-cell phone (which got cut off so all I can do is text now)
-earphones, pens, highlighters
-black nail polish
-notebook of my writing (I don’t carry my textbooks around with me)
-and sometimes Viros my laptop
Today I added:
-change of clothes
-the last of the crackers with peanut butter on them
I feel like a hobo, with all my belongings in my backpack. It was heavy on my back today because I brought viros with me, as though I was ‘leaving home’ and not intending to go back. And maybe I won’t. I haven’t gone yet cuz I’m at the library right now. So I came to school super early so I could shower in the changerooms. It was SO nice to have a hot shower. I could write a poem about it if I had the energy.
It was a good thing I came early because there was some kind of group or club meeting going on in the gym and I snuck out just in time. I think they’re planning decorations for the spring formal, which is just around the corner. I’m definitely not going, obviously. No dress, no shoes, no hairspray and no home (and not to mention my mascara dried out).
Well anyway I’m thinking of calling my auntie today. Not to tell her my mom’s been gone but just to say hi, cuz she usually gives me some money on my birthday and I haven’t heard from her, I sound so rude just wanting to call her cuz I hope she’ll give me money for my birthday, but I am hungry, and that’s all I can think about these days.
I went to the thrift store to apply for a job and they gave me this application, which I still have in my back pack, and I’m not sure how I’m going to fill it out. Address, social insurance number, phone number. I don’t technically have a phone number anymore cuz my cell phone’s not working (like my mom didn’t pay the bill) and my mom’s calls all go to her cell phone, we don’t have a land line. I don’t know my social insurance number and I don’t wanna put my current address down either. I guess I can lie about that one. I’ll figure it out I really feel way too tired to get a job blahhh Maybe its just cuz I got up early and didn’t sleep much last night, or maybe its cuz I haven’t eaten much lately and have been feeling light-headed
Everyone is talking about the spring formal
I’m not sure when the library closes but I’m staying here till it does, then I’m going to sit on a bus and ride it round and round, not getting off at any stop, until its done running for the night or until I’m asked to get off. I don’t want to go home today. I don’t ever want to go back there… 😦