Surprise! Its The Real Me For Once


This is the view from my living room window this morning (and this is not Alanna writing today, but me, the real me, the one who likes to write stories about someone who writes stories). There’s still snow on the ground (and Spring is only a few weeks away *sigh*), the same snow Alanna sees in the morning I suppose, except when she looks out there is traffic. I did really live with my mom (for a few months) in an office building which she pretended was her ‘office’ but in fact she was living there. It was a horrible time for me, but it was the time when I wrote Alanna’s ‘Cinderella story’, which composes the first 5 or 8 posts, before the Morgan stuff.

At the time I told myself when I get better I will never stress myself out so much again to the point of a breakdown, trying so hard to achieve dreams that I just can’t make happen, the song “In The End” by Linkin Park says it perfectly:

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard

So I’m reminding myself again. Because I’ve been working my butt off on my blog and ‘in the end, it doesn’t even matter’. My dream is to be a YA author but getting agents to look at your work is about as easy as meeting Justin Bieber in person. So I thought, I’ll just put some writing out there, via blogging. But once again I feel like my attempts are as useful as ‘trying hard to win the lottery’. Some people win, some don’t. I guess I just need to do my writing for me. Right now I only have two consistent readers (thank you Po3tic and Jackiewriting!). I guess I’m new to blogging and don’t really get it yet. People want to read about people’s real lives I guess (?) or they just want to read about others’ opinions? Or rants! (there are a lot of rants lol) I dunno, I thought it would be fun to read… a blog ‘story’. I went in search of others writing about teenager stuff and its actually lots of fun to see their rants lol, I feel like there’s an endless sea of characters / personalities out there just waiting to be put into a novel of mine some day hehe.

I’ve created a new page to ask my many, many readers ^_^ what they want me to write about right now, I’ve got three prospects. And I guess I’ll continue to write posts just about me, the real  me, sometimes too. I’ve added ‘categories’. Hopefully that doesn’t confuse anyone.

So bye for now, I won’t hog Alanna’s oh so dim spotlight 😛


2 thoughts on “Surprise! Its The Real Me For Once

  1. words are endless. never stop writing.

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