I’m downstairs, in the narrow hallway that leads to the front door. My Mom’s Busy Bee Housecleaning window decal covers the glass. A thick frost has enveloped the entire door. I won’t be able to see Morgan through the iced up glass if he comes. I try to unlock the door.
Then lock is frozen and for a moment I don’t think I will be able to open it. I give it one last try with all my might and it opens. I breathe a sigh of relief. The cold air in the hallway seeps into me, to my very core, even though I’m wearing a black hoodie and jeans. Fortunately I was smart enough to wear my shoes down.
The door rattles suddenly, startling me. It makes loud cracking sounds as Morgan pushes it open. I help him with the door and he tumbles in.
“Hi.” He says, pulling his toque off and shaking snow everywhere. “I ran all the way… the lights… look… beautiful …from outside.” He stops to catch his breath. I’m trying hard not to smile too big, in case he thinks I’m laughing at him. But I’m not. I’m just so happy he actually came, after being rejected the first time and all.
“Want to see the lights upstairs?” I say quietly, before I can change my mind. I have nothing to be scared of. I cleaned my room, it looks fine, everything will be fine.
“You sure?” Morgan asks. He must sense my unease.
I nod, definitely not sure, of myself or where I live or anything, but definitely sure of him.
We walk to the stairs and Morgan removes his boots and jacket, which are wet, leaving them at the foot of the stairs. We climb up quietly and I give Morgan the quiet gesture, my pointing finger over my lips. Morgan nods. At the top of the stairs, I open the door.
The place smells faintly of cleaning agents, a result of us cleaning only a few hours ago. The windows at the front of the building let in the glare of the streetlights, casting soft shadows on our living room / kitchen / dining room / area. I see the place through Morgan’s eyes. It does look kind of cool actually… in the dark, like a lavish downtown apartment.
We walk silently to my room, passing the men’s and women’s washrooms.
When I open the door to my bedroom I gasp at the sight. Seeing the lights chokes me up with emotion. they look absolutely magical! And now that Morgan is here they look romantic too.
He is still at the door behind me so I move aside to give him room to come in. I want to close the door. He’s looking up at the lights and smiling. I hear a sound in the hall and quickly pull him inside, not expecting the simple touch to have such an impact on me, or on him. His gaze has turned to me and I stop breathing. No one has ever looked at me in this way, as if they never want to look away.
I break the stare first, worried about the open bedroom door. I quickly close it then breathe a sigh of relief.
Safe, for now.
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