My mom and sister are trying to set me up again. I hate these kind of situations, the guy always goes home hurt. Why? Because he agrees under the pretence that I will be like one of my beautiful outgoing sisters. Then, after meeting me he decides he’s in love with me anyway, despite the fact that I’m not like them, because I’m mysterious and unattainable (translation: I’m not interested in them). But its not the guy’s fault, my sisters just never pick the right kind of guy for me. I’m sure they think I’ll come out of my “shell” if I fall in love with a handsome, young, extroverted guy who’s charm will convert me to the other side. What they don’t understand is that introversion is not a choice, but an orientation. Don’t they think I’m smart enough to realize that I’d be much better off in this world choosing to be extroverted? I mean I don’t even know what kind of job I could do that would suit my personality, other than writing. So whenever I’m stressed like this with this dance idea forced upon me I start writing. Wait, I forgot to mention the ‘dance’ part. There is a Valentine’s Dance at the Eagle Hall tonight, did you know that? I’m sure its going to be a blast.. not. If I didn’t have DC I would probably go crazy. I told him my sisters are setting me up on a date for the Valentine’s dance tonight and he said: (I’m going to insert our conversation from yesterday for you here)
DC -So just don’t go to this dance then
Me -Its not that easy
Me -Because they’re trying to set me up with some guy
-some outgoing, prince charming type of guy they hand picked
-that is probably a #10 in personality and looks and charm
DC -Sounds horrible
Me -What would I want with a guy like that?
DC -I don’t know, what every girl wants?
Me -I’m not every girl, in fact I can’t think of any girl that’s like me.
DC -I can’t either. You don’t even like shopping or shoes J
Me -Well do you?
DC -No, but I’m a guy
Me -I don’t like shopping for the same reasons you don’t, it’s exhausting.
DC -Does that mean you haven’t bought a dress for the ball yet?
Me -Oh I wonder if I could use that as an excuse not to go.
DC -I can’t see your sisters forgetting a small detail like that.
Me -Probably not.
DC -So is this guy picking you up or something?
Me -No, it may not even be just one guy.
Me -I mean it’s a big dance
-I’m sure my sisters have a few guys lined up to try and win me over.
DC -don’t you know all the guys in your school already?
Me -Its not at my school, its at some Eagle Hall or something
DC -Ha ha ha!!! Old people 😀
Me -Its not old people. Its supposed to be a fun and hip youngster thing (for the grandkids of old people maybe)
DC -Sounds like an adventure 😉 Tell your sisters they can set up an evening for me of meeting princess girls. I’d pick one.. or two
(I decided to ignore that comment)
Me -If I’m polite or even smile the guy always thinks I’m ready to date him
-then I have such a hard time shaking him off.
DC -Tell them you’re a vampire
Me -I’d hurt my sisters’ feelings
DC -What if you went with someone else to the dance?
Me -What do you mean?
DC -Like with a date. Then they couldn’t set you up this time.
Me -But that’s what I’m trying to avoid.
Me -Sort of.
DC -Or just dating the wrong guy?
DC -What if you just made an agreement with a guy to go with you
-To keep the other guys away?
Me -Like pay someone to hang out with me?
DC -You wouldn’t have to pay anyone to hang out with you, you’re beautiful.
So let me pause the conversation here (this was a chat conversation btw, if you hadn’t picked up on that yet). DC is like my best friend, but I admit I have feelings for him. He’s my escape, he’s always there for me. I suppose he thought I was deeply distressed and needed some compliments about being beautiful. He doesn’t usually say stuff like that.
Me -I’d just acquire another tag-along to have to get rid of
DC -So there’s no guy in the world that you’d want to tag-along with you?
Then we both wrote and sent this at the same time:
Me -only you
DC -how about me?
The thought of meeting DC makes me all tingly inside. But I’ve never even seen a picture of him (my mom is too scared of technology to let me join a social networking site like facebook, she says I’m not important enough for everyone to know what I’m doing every five minutes), and I just know meeting DC would ruin everything. Because I already have an imaginary version of him in my mind.
Me -I’m not sure if you’re serious, since you live so far away.
DC -well… there’s something I haven’t told you.
Me -Let me guess, you’re like 45 and you can get a plane ticket and be here by morning
(I was crossing my fingers as I waited for the reply – please don’t be 45, please don’t be 45!)
DC – No J I’m not old that’s for sure. It’s just that I’m not that far away either.
-I live in *** (information withheld cuz this is a public blog).
Me -***? Like 3 hours drive away?
So then I was confused. Why did he lie about living nearby? He told me he lived in Florida.
Me -You mean as of late?
DC -No, I’ve always lived in ***.
I didn’t reply for a moment.
DC -You’re wondering why I wouldn’t just tell you
But then it dawned on me. He’s probably super self-conscious about us ever meeting. Maybe he’s quite ugly or very overweight. I decided not to stay mad, after all, he is my best friend.
Me -Its okay. I understand.
DC -You do?
Me -I’m guessing you’re self-conscious. I’m the same way.
DC -You’re not self-conscious!
Me -But meeting someone in person ruins the mystery
DC -Well I’m not too concerned about being mysterious.
Me -Then what is it?
Now I was convinced that he is in fact overweight or ugly. It doesn’t really matter. But if we met in real life then it would matter. It happened to me once (not the meeting part), this guy I talked to all the time and really liked (before I met DC) sent me his picture. Ugh! I know I sound really superficial right now but I couldn’t stop imagining those big teeth grinning every time we messaged. Eventually I just stopped talking to him. Then I met DC and he seemed so.. great. We thought a lot alike. Its like he’s in tune with his emotions. He didn’t reply so I wrote:
Me -You’re not really a guy but a girl?
DC -No! I’m really a guy and I’m not old at all, still in school
-and I’m not ugly or fat if you’re wondering.
I felt relieved but don’t say it.
DC -You’re majorly relieved.
Me -No of course not! You could be fat or ugly, that wouldn’t matter.
DC -Sure princess, like the tooth guy you told me about?
Me -I told you about that?
(When DC calls me princess gives me happy fuzzy feelings)
DC -That’s why I don’t want you to see my buck teeth
Me -Well you’ve got some kind of secret.
Me -you still want to take me to the ball?
DC -It wouldn’t work out, in real life.
I was a little disappointed at how quickly he changed his mind, even if I wouldn’t ever go through with meeting him.
DC -It’s just that my mom is driving out of town tomorrow and I’m going with her
Me -But I have to tell you about the dance afterwards! Will you be home?
DC -Not till super late. I can’t stay home alone.
Me -Why not?
There is a pause. Now I’m thinking he’s in a wheelchair or can’t take care of himself. What mom would worry about leaving her 17 year old son at home?
DC -My mom doesn’t like to drive alone
-You know how extroverts can be about spending time alone
Me -Yeah I do. I live with 3 of them.
-So you must REALLY be looking forward to the drive.
DC -Yeah. Three hours of chatting with my mom…
DC -I can tune her out when I’m thinking of you.
I didn’t reply right away,
(DC says ‘anyway’ when he is nervous or uncomfortable).
Me – we could arrange to meet in some dingy back alley
DC -I’ll meet you on the north side of town.
Me -You’ve already mapped out my whole city haven’t you?
DC -Well there are like six high schools and nobody’s picture matches yours China.
(I’ll tell you about why he calls me China later)
Me -That’s true.
I didn’t mention that the picture he’s seen was me at 13, blonde hair in a short bob, bright smile. I look so different now you’d need a DNA sample to tell we’re the same person. My hair is long and dark and wavy, down to the small of my back already. And I wear these black framed glasses. So yeah, totally different.
DC -I’m not trying to find you out
Me -Yeah right. And good luck, I’m not stupid.
DC -Never thought you were 😉
Even if he’s a hacker I keep all my info anonymous. Viros has none of my real info, that would be crazy. Most of my online friends are hackers!!!! And it’s not like I have a bank account, yet. But it would be possible to find out where my internet is coming from, the café. So I do feel nervous sometimes about having online friends I’ve never met. But how paranoid should I be realistically?
DC -It’s gonna kill me to be there and not get to see you
DC -I mean nearby
Me -Where’s your mom driving to?
DC -Sorry sir.
(sir means Someone In Room, like potentially looking over your shoulder to read the conversation so watch out.)
Me -Alright then.
We sent a bunch of gibberish to move the previous conversation up the screen into hiding.
DC -Have fun at the ball China
Me -Have fun on the drive
DC -I’ll say hello in the morning.
That was yesterday, and today I got my done at the mall. I’m having such a hard time text message with the fake nails that the Vietnamese girl put on me! She didn’t like me very much and kept bossing me around.
“Go wash your hands!” And then when it was all done she said, “No soaking!” I asked her for how long, but she decided to ignore me instead. Then my sister dragged me off to some shop. She actually took me out of my last two classes of the day to go on this shopping trip, because the mall closes at five today, and we needed more time. She was so excited, like she imagines this is my fairy-god-mother dreams come true. So I didn’t remind her that I don’t like to shop, don’t care about nails, and hate having other people at salons do my hair.
My hair was next on the list. It was bugging me like mad that I couldn’t get a hold of DC. I mean I slept in this morning and rushed off to school. DC had already written a few things ‘good morning’, ‘you up?’, ‘you there?’ and I typed out ‘late!’ before rushing off. Then I was relying on my second last class of the day at the library to send an e-mail. Plus my phone stayed home today because I’m not allowed to take it to school.
So I’m kind of feeling unsettled now, not having talked to DC all day and Vanessa thinks its gitters about the dance. She’s saying stuff like ‘it’ll be fun’ and ‘you’ll like Rodney.’ I never like blind dates. And I don’t think I like the name Rodney either.
So Finally its like 5:30 now and I’m all “princessed” up with spirally hair strands on my cheek and everything. But I can’t eat because Vanessa says I’ll wreck my make-up, so I’m in my room, carefully placing bite-sized chocolate bar pieces into my mouth without touching my lipstick. I don’t need to worry about my teeth because I doubt I’ll be smiling at all this evening. I’m also waiting for DC to answer me, because I wrote out a long list of apologies for not being in contact all day, but he’s not replying.
My mom’s been trying to get me off the computer, but the dance doesn’t start till 7 and I don’t want to be so super early.
“I’m sure you can leave virus for a few short hours!” My mom’s been yelling down the hall. She’s usually not this impatient, maybe she’s coming down with something. Our place is very drafty and cold after all.
“Its Viros mom, not virus.” I told her, but I have no intention of getting up off my seat until 6:50pm. She’s telling me to quit trying to message ‘Derek’, but his name is DC, which only goes to show you how well my mom listens to anything I say. Well it looks like she’s about to drag me right out of my seat any second, so I’m going to go to this Valentine’s Dance and report back all the wonderful experiences of a Valentine’s blind date… yay. I’ll post part two of this blog tomorrow, or maybe even tonight…